James Dean's lonesome cry

East of Eden (1955), James Dean's first major film, was shot on location in California. On 8 April 1954, Dean left his home town New York City and went to Los Angeles to prepare for the film. A couple of weeks after his departure from New York, a homesick Dean wrote a letter to his then girlfriend Barbara Glenn, telling her how much he hated California and how lonely and "fucked up" he was. Noteworthy is the fact that Dean signed his letter with "Jim {Brando Clift} Dean", clearly conveying his great admiration for fellow actors Marlon Brando and Montgomery Clift.

James Dean with  Barbara Glenn, whom he dated for two years

Via: james dean daily

Transcript: 

4.26.54

FAMOUS ARTISTS CORPORATION
Agency
California Bank Building
Beverly Hills, California

Dearest Barbara

I don't like it here. I don't like people here. I like it home (N.Y.) and I like you and I want to see you. Must I always be miserable? I try so hard to make people reject me. Why? I don't want to write this letter. It would be better to remain silent. "Wow! am I fucked up"

Got here on a Thurs. went to the desert on Sat., weeks latter [sic] to San Francisco. I DON'T KNOW WHERE I AM. Rented a car for 2 weeks it cost me $138.00. I WANT TO DIE. I have told [Redacted] and 5 others like her to kiss my ass and what stench, spineless, stupid prostitutes they were. I HAVEN'T BEEN TO BED WITH NO BODY. And won't untill [sic] after the picture and I am home safe in N.Y.C. (snuggly little town that it is) sounds unbelievable but it's the truth I swear. So hold everything, stop breathing, stop the town all of N.Y.C. untill [sic] (should have trumpets here) James Dean returns.

Wow! Am I fucked up. I got no motorcycle I got no girl. HONEY, shit writting [sic] in capitals doesn't seem to help either. Haven't found a place to live yet, still living with my father-- HONEY. Kazan sent me out here to get a tan. Haven't seen the sun yet. (fog & smog) Wanted me healthy looking. I look like a prune. Don't run away from home at too early an age or you'll half [sic] to take vitamins for the rest of your life. Wish you cooked. I'll be home soon. Write me please. I'm sad most of the time. Awful lonely too isn't it. (I hope youre dying) BECAUSE I AM.

Love.

Jim {Brando Clift} Dean

My address is {fathers that is) is
1667 So. Bundy Drive
L.A. 25, Calif.