Dear Bobbybones

Marilyn Monroe would have turned 100 on 1 June. While somewhat belated, this post is to celebrate and remember her on the occasion of her birthday.

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Marilyn loved children but never had any of her own. While she became pregnant three times —all of her pregnancies occurred during her marriage to playwright Arthur Miller (1956-1961)— Marilyn had two miscarriages and one ectopic pregnancy. The first time she became pregnant was in the summer of 1956 during the filming of The Prince and the Showgirl; she got pregnant again a year later, but this pregnancy was ectopic and had to be terminated to save her life; and the third time occurred in 1958 while filming Some Like it Hot, with her miscarrying in December of that year. Marilyn had a severe form of endometriosis with often debilitating pain, and her fertility issues were most likely linked to the disease.

Although she had no children of her own, Marilyn had three stepchildren. She was married three times, and her second and third husband, respectively Joe DiMaggio and Arthur Miller, were previously married, with children by their former wives. Her stepchildren —Joe DiMaggio Jr, Jane Miller and Robert "Bobby" Miller— meant the world to Marilyn, and she once said they were her best friends. In a 1962 interview with Alan Levy for Redbook magazine, she candidly spoke about them: "I take a lot of pride in them. Because they're from broken homes … I can't explain it, but I think I understand about them. I think I love them more than I love anyone. I've always said to my stepchildren that I didn't want to be their mother – or stepmother – as such. I wanted to be their friend. Only time could prove that to them and they had to give me time. But I love them and I adore them. Their lives that are forming are very precious to me and I know that I had a part in forming them." 

1957, Marilyn with her stepchildren, Jane and Bobby Miller

After Marilyn married Arthur Miller in 1956, she became stepmother to Jane and Bobby, who were Miller's children from his marriage to Mary Grace Slattery. Miller divorced his wife on 12 June 1956 and married Marilyn that same month, on 29 June. Especially Jane, who was eleven at the time —Bobby was three years younger— had a hard time accepting her parents' divorce and her father's new wife. However, it wouldn't be long before Marilyn befriended both children, remaining close to them until her death. 

On 2 February 1962, Marilyn wrote to Bobby Miller in response to a letter he had written, showing great interest in Bobby's life while also sharing stories of her own life. She excitingly talks about her new house and the dinner party she attended the night before, where she discussed civil rights with Robert Kennedy. Marilyn was a staunch advocate of civil rights and had become more politically and socially aware since her marriage to Arthur Miller (read more in this post). At the time of the letter, Marilyn had been divorced from Miller for about a year but was nevertheless eager to keep in touch with his children and for them to visit her in Los Angeles. Sadly, however, she passed away six months later, on 5 August 1962, so perhaps they never saw each other again. (Incidentally, on the last day of her life, Marilyn reportedly spoke on the phone with her other stepkid, Joey DiMaggio Jr.) 

Source: Cursum Perficio

Transcript:

Noon

February 2 [1962]

Dear Bobbybones,

The first thing I want to say is that I am very disappointed that you don't get to have your telephone. I don't quite understand why it didn't work out, and I am very sorry, but remember that in a few years you will be able to do more things that you want. For instance, like having your own telephone. What I am trying to say is that you will be growing up and having your own responsibilities (even thought [sic] I still think, and agree with you, that it would be fun to have a phone and I can't see any harm in it, especially since I want to give it to you as your Christmas present, and you feel you have a need for it.) Anyway, Bob, cheer up. I would like to get something that would replace it, but I don't know how. I am glad you liked the sweater, but I would still like to do something else with your check because it really belongs to you. If you can think of anything else, let me know. Or, maybe you would like to start a savings account, or something like that? Or, who knows -- but you let me know.

That pool table that you told me about in that Danish hotel sounds great. Did I ever tell you that I can really play pool? I learned when I was about sixteen and it is something that you never forget. I don't understand why they don't let you in to play pool. Do they they [sic] think you are a delinquent of some kind just because you like the game? Maybe you could go over and take a friend when all those Danish sailors aren't there, like at some odd hour early in the morning, or maybe you could find out which odd hours those Danish sailors don't play. Anyway, don't give up the ship, if you know what I mean, because they might just say yes, as you put it, just to shut you up.

I am glad your arm is feeling better. Where are you going skiing -- but do be careful.

By the way, I don't think you're so bad about sending letters when you consider how bad I am. I'm very happy to have heard from you and don't worry about sending me a present because I realize your allowance is limited and you need it for school things and what not.

I am going to get that book you recommended; is it "Lord of the Flies" or "The Flees [sic]" ? I would love to read something really terrifying.

Bobby, I have the best news: I have just completely bought my new house. As I told you, it is an authentic little Mexican house, but it's got a gigantic swimming pool, and it looks just like Mexico. You would just love it. I have two guest rooms plus a large playroom, plus lots of patios, and a big Mexican wall goes all around the place with big high Mexican gates (that's to keep intruders out, in case anybody gets intrusive.) It's got a nice garden - not too large to take care of - and, as I told you, the swimming pool is so large it doesn't leave too much lawn to take care of. Anyway, I would love - for whichever vacation it can be arranged - if you and Janie wanted to - at least for a part of the vacation, even if it is for a few days, or a week - you are welcome to stay as long as you wanted to. I will take care of your plane tickets and meet you at the airport. You remember how much you liked California -- well, it's still here, and, what I want you and Janie to know is that you are always welcome. Now, I don't know how you are going to work this vacation thing out, but if I know you, you will probably figure something out - right? And, talk to Janie about it; maybe she has an idea. Or, if one of you is busy, you could take turns in coming. I don't know -- I just thought I would make these suggestions. First of all, I miss you very much and I think you would love my new home.

Oh, Bobby, guess what: I had dinner last night with the Attorney-General of the United States, Robert Kennedy, and I asked him what his department was going to do about Civil Rights and some other issues. He is very intelligent, and besides all that, he's got a terrific sense of humor. I think you would like him. Anyway, I had to go to this dinner last night as he was the guest of honor and when they asked him who he wanted to meet, he wanted to meet me. So, I went to the dinner and I sat next to him, and he isn't a bad dancer either. But I was mostly impressed with how serious he is about Civil Rights. He answered all of my questions and then he said he would write me a letter and put it on paper. So, I'll send you a copy of the letter when I get it because there will be some very interesting things in it because I really asked many questions. First of all he asked if I had been attending some kind of meetings. (Haha!) I laughed and said "no, but these are the kind of questions that the youth of America want answers to and want things done about." Not that I'm so youthful, but I feel youthful. But he's an old 36 himself which astounded me because I'm 35. It was a pleasant evening, all in all.

I am leaving today for New York so I'll call you when I get in. Maybe you could stop over for a visit or lunch or dinner, or, maybe you want to go to a movie. I'll be in New York for, I expect, about a week. Tell Janie all this and tell her I would love to see her. I haven't heard from her since Christmas. I guess we are all a little sloppy about writing. However, I think we all know what we mean to each other, don't we. At least I know I love you kids and I want to be your friend and stay in touch.

Say Bobsky, what happened about your math test? I don't know why I took it for granted, but I always thought you were sort of brilliant in math. Anyway, I hope that all your mid-term tests came out very well.

Well, I'll close now, since this letter is getting a little longer than I intended. Golly I'm sorry about the phone, but you will grow up before you know it and things like telephones will be possible and not out of your reach.

I love you and miss you, and, give my love to Janie.

P.S. 

My new address is 12305 Fifth Helena Drive, Los Angeles 49, California

Bobby Miller with his parents and sister Jane

Marilyn's last home at 12305 Fifth Helena Drive, located in the Brentwood neighbourhood of Los Angeles. It was at her home that she was found dead on 5 August 1962, making her letter to Bobby all the more poignant.

1962, Marilyn with Robert Kennedy (left) and John F. Kennedy (his back to the camera) on the occasion of JFK's 45th birthday party. While being the only known photo of Marilyn with JFK, it's possibly also the only known picture of her with Robert Kennedy.