Let me function or else come down and shoot it yourself

David O. Selznick's final film was his production of A Farewell to Arms (1957), based on Ernest Hemingway's successful novel of the same name. Prior to and during production of the film, Selznick went totally overboard with his infamous memos, reportedly dictating about 10,000 (!). Trying hard to control every aspect of the picture, the producer bombarded just about everyone with his directives. Director John Huston took the brunt of it, a very lengthy memo eventually causing him to quit the film before shooting had even started. (Huston and Selzick had constantly clashed, in particular about the script.)

As Huston's replacement, Selznick chose Charles Vidor who now became the main recipient of the producer's memos. Vidor grew increasingly annoyed with Selznick as more of his messages came pouring in. The director would occasionally send back angry responses, at one time accusing Selznick of not wanting a first violinist as a director, but a piccolo player. 

Charles Vidor (left), David Selznick and the film's leading man Rock Hudson on the set of A Farewell to Arms.

Another time, Vidor reacted angrily to a memo from Selznick regarding a kitchen scene. On 26 May 1957, the producer had written: "I am bothered by the stirring of the gruel for such a long period of time in the kitchen scene. I think it is going to be a bore. Couldn't the nurse be fiddling with an Italian coffee machine and/or preparing Italian bacon .... ". 

Vidor responded by telegram the following day:

I received your memo regarding the kitchen scene STOP in the light of my past performance on this picture alone I find it idiotic and I think that by the light of Monday morning you will too STOP the memo indicates that you think you have on your hands a hopelessly inexperienced director STOP if you don't stop I will think that I am stuck with a totally inexperienced producer STOP for heaven's sake let me function or else come down and shoot it yourself.

Vidor   

Source: Selznick (1970) by Bob Thomas

An offended Selznick answered by memo (of course), feeling their relationship did not call for such a telegram. He also wondered: "It is only two days since you were flattering enough to be enthusiastic about my memoranda, and to ask me to "keep them going." I am now confused: am I to keep sending them, but first to screen them through your sensibilities?..." Eventually, Selznick suggested he and Vidor have lunch together and to "get on with the show!"

Above: Charles Vidor with his leads Jennifer Jones and Rock Hudson on the set of A Farewell to Arms. Below: Having dinner in a restaurant in Rome during the film's production, (l to r) Hudson, Jones, Vidor and Selznick.

A Farewell to Arms, starring Selznick's wife Jennifer Jones and Rock Hudson in the leads, ultimately proved both a commercial and critical failure. Ernest Hemingway hated the film and especially resented the fact that Selznick had cast Jones, at the time nearly 40 years old, to portray the author's 24-year-old heroine. After this film Selznick would never produce another again. While he did plan to make other pictures (including a film adaptation of F. Scott Fitzgerald's novel Tender is the Night), A Farewell to Arms remained his final achievement.

_____

Concluding this post, I will leave you with excerpts from a column by Art Buchwald. The columnist had travelled to Italy, where A Farewell to Arms was filmed, in order to cover the film's shooting. Intrigued by Selznick's compulsive memo-writing, Buchwald wrote this funny piece:

There is a legend in Rome that if you throw a memorandum by David O. Selznick into the Fountain of Cinecitta Studios, you will never work on A Farewell to Arms again.

The people who have said farewell to A Farewell to Arms now number in the hundreds and include one director, John Huston, one chief of photography who quit two weeks ago, three art directors, a film editor, a special effects director, four chauffeurs, and the entire staff of the villa where Mr. and Mrs. Selznick were staying.

Most of the people claim it was not Mr. Selznick but his memorandums that got them down.

(....)

Since he dictates them at night to three secretaries who work in shifts, Mr. Selznick has no time to read them once they are typed up. This occasionally leads to misunderstandings between the producer and his help and most everyone on the picture keeps a bag packed in case he wants to leave Rome in a hurry.

(....)

People on A Farewell to Arms collect Selznick memorandums like other people collect stamps. The memo written to John Huston which caused him to quit is worth three memos that Selznick wrote to the cameraman about photographing Jennifer Jones. One person in the company has a collector's item, a Selznick memorandum of one line. He has been offered 50,000 lire for it, but refuses to sell it.

Each person reacts differently to a Selznick memo. One department head who is no longer there thought he would fight fire with fire and so when he received a memo from Selznick he sent him back a memorandum of the same length. But he got a memo the next day from Selznick saying please don't send him any memos any more because he doesn't have time to read them.

(....)

Mr. Selznick, according to his detractors, has a tendency to keep referring to Gone with the Wind when trying to make a point in a memorandum. He was so intent on making A Farewell to Arms as big a success that he insisted that all of the technical staff attend a special screening of GWTW.

An outsider who attended the command performance came up after it was over and said: "What is Selznick worried about? The rushes look great to me."

Source: Selznick (1970) by Bob Thomas 

David O. Selznick, champion at memo-writing